Real Weddings: Brittiny & Michael, The Entrepreneurial Couple

A Month in the Life of a Real Bride-to-be

This is the first of a series of monthly articles dedicated to the wedding planning lives of real brides-to-be. Each month, we will focus on a specific aspect of planning a wedding and its realities. To start off the series, January will introduce our couples in Q&A fashion while giving you a peek of their wedding vision. The first 2010 couple Blackweddings.com will be following to the altar is the Entrepreneurial Couple, Brittiny Mays and her fiancé Michael. Brittiny and Michael are planning a late December brunch-style weekday wedding in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

The Entrepreneurial Couple, Brittiny and Michael are both small business owners. Brittiny is the Chief Designer and owner of Amour Toujours Event Design and Planning, an event design company based in Baton Rouge specializing in designing and planning sophisticated events for the bride on a budget. Michael owns a nightclub.

As we follow our Entrepreneurial Couple, Brittiny will give her wedding planning and designing tips for our readers, including vendor recommendations from the perspective of a wedding planner and more importantly, from the viewpoint of a bride.

Without further ado, Blackweddings.com would like to introduce our Entrepreneurial Couple, Brittiny and Michael!

The Entrepreneurial Couple

BW: When and where did you meet your hubby-to-be?

Brittiny: We met on line in September 2007, but not in person until June 2008, because I didn’t believe anyone this good could be real in person (man was I wrong).

BW: When did you realize he was your future husband?

Brittiny: Funny story, I lived in New Orleans at the time and actually had my cards “read” by an amateur reader who told me my future husband would have green eyes. I teased and said no black people have green eyes. Michael does… I had completely forgotten about that as we only knew each other on the telephone and not in person yet. I suppose I knew that he was my future husband in June of 2009. We had gone through a bad spiel in our relationship, and I realized I would much rather be with him arguing than without him. I have an excitable and sometimes assertive personality, I’ve been told that I can bulldoze right over someone’s opinion, Michael always has been a voice of reason when I am worked up and a stoic figure, not afraid to stand up to my sometimes over assertive type-A ways.

BW: I know you’re recently engaged. Can you tell us how you (or he) proposed?

Brittiny: The recession has affected our family just as it has many families in our country, Mike and I were chatting one day and I simply told him in the words of Method Man “I don’t need a ring to be your wife”. He smirked at me, rolling his eyes which sort of infuriated me. I mumbled “I should just ask you myself” He rebutted why don’t you, so I called his bluff and did. And he looked shocked and taken aback and took a minute (to which I of course thought oh no, he doesn’t want to marry me). He quickly grinned and said yes. I didn’t believe him AT ALL and asked him three times if we were engaged. Six days later he proposed on one knee with a gorgeous three stone aquamarine and diamond ring (or sapphire I have no idea) with our little ones watching and coaching him (I have a son from a previous relationship and he has a son and a daughter)!!!

BW: Now, let’s talk about the ring. How did you two decide on your engagement ring?

Brittiny: I knew that I didn’t want anything traditional AT ALL. I work with clients all day, every day and wanted something to stand out from the traditional diamond stone. The fact that the Kimberly process hasn’t really been that effective also weighed heavily on both of our minds. So we knew that a gemstone was the way to go. Last February or so Michael and I were playing around and took a picture well, I am not sure if it was the flash or not but his eyes were a gorgeous blue color in the picture. I wanted a stone that matched his eyes and after seeing Tiffany’s aquamarine Legacy I decided that was exactly what I wanted, an aquamarine.

BW: When is the wedding?

Brittiny: Our wedding is Thursday, December 30th, 2010.

BW: Brittiny, you’re a talented wedding planner and designer. With all your creative energy, I am certain you have a unique vision for your wedding. What vision do you have for your wedding?

Brittiny: Our vision for the wedding is chandeliers, brunch, and feathers. The readers will have to stay tuned to see how it all comes to fruition.

BW: Have you two picked a venue yet?

Brittiny: We have unfortunately not picked a venue yet. We are currently in the process of looking for a venue that fits the history that I like, the modern aesthetic he likes, and the budget (sigh)….

BW: Now, the second question a bride-to-be encounters is the dress question. We are all amazed how beautiful a woman looks in her wedding gown. With all the wedding gown choices, have you narrowed your choices down yet? If so, what gown are you leaning toward purchasing? What wedding gown advice would you give our readers?

Brittiny: I have narrowed my dress choices. I, of course, have a favorite couture dress designer, Pnina Tornai. I love her rouching and asymmetrical lines. Oddly enough Alfred Angelo makes a design that is sophisticated, couture AND budget friendly in their fall 2009/Spring 2010 line. It reminds me of the Pnina Tornai dress that I lusted after (I have only seen it on Say Yes to the Dress, every engaged woman’s porn). It was the first dress that I tried on, on my first shopping trip. And when I tried it on I felt sexy sophisticated, couture and oh so bridal. For those of you that are curious about the dress style, it is Alfred Angelo 2047R (I have been told that it is exclusive to Alfred Angelo Flagship stores). However, I have not purchased it yet and will be continuing dress shopping with my mother so that we can both have that mom and daughter bonding experience. It is very important that she like my choice of dress as well. As a full figured woman (size 14/16), we are told that we only look good in A lines. I beg to differ. I am very curvaceous and have an hourglass shape and wanted to showcase it. My dress choices will definitely showcase my curvaceous shape. The current dress that I am drooling over is a trumpet style with rouching and asymmetry. And let’s just say I’m attempting to lose a tad bit of the gut (and none of the curve) to rock the dress to the best of my ability.

BW: I know that you and Michael have children. Do you plan to incorporate your children into the wedding ceremony?

Brittiny: Our little ones have chosen to take on the traditional roles of children in our wedding. My son and Michael’s son will be ring bearers. His daughter will be a flower girl, and she asked her first cousin to be a flower girl, after I asked her if it was okay. I really want to combine something like different color liquids as well to show that 5 different and unique people will join to form one unique and beautiful family.

BW: As a wedding planner, you very familiar with the cost of weddings and the oh-so-famous word budget. Have you figured out your wedding budget? What tips do you have for our readers to help them stay within their budget?

Brittiny: We have figured out our wedding budget, which in the wedding planning world is not much. To stay within our wedding budget and to make sure that our wedding is still stylish elegant and couture, we have decided on a Thursday daytime wedding. I strongly suggest cutting the guest list or choosing an “off-day” to get married. Most venues have zero bookings on weekdays during the day, and the money is just an extra perk for them during this time. It is definitely worth trying to get the venue you want at the price you have to spend. A great example of off days that won’t really hurt your guest list are: The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, the Day before Christmas Eve, MLK Day, the day before New Year’s Eve, Veteran’s Day (a lot of people are off but not all businesses recognize it as a holiday so you won’t receive the holiday mark up). Also the day or two before the 4th of July also works the same magic. The only problem with having a non-traditional wedding day is you will have to send Save the Dates (something that I personally and professionally think are mostly unnecessary, especially when on a budget). I actually created a very cost effective save the date ($0.00) and will be showing it later on in the series and that helps combat the very expensive costs that can quickly build. I also advocate Do-It-Yourself projects, as much as you can. Google has a tutorial for EVERYTHING! If you can type on your computer, you can create an invitation. If you can use a stamp and ink pad you can customize your favor bags and/or programs. The list is endless and inexpensive. There are also tons of vendors online who can help you customize your wedding. For example, I’m using Calligraphy by Jennifer to digitize our names and a few other things for our invitations, giving me a semi-DIY invitation with all the luxury of a custom invitation suite. I am also really lucky because my photographer Fola Adewole offers an a la carte package and TRAVELS!! So I was able to get a stellar photographer for not much more than an average photographer costs. Trust me there are definitely ways to get what you want for a price that you can afford.

BW: As a wedding planner, do you think you are more equipped than other brides to plan a cost-effective wedding without sacrificing your vision?

Brittiny: Hmmm. What a great question. I don’t think I am more equipped, I think I probably am more resourceful. I tend to research A LOT for each client making sure that they get the best deals on everything. In that respect, I am better equipped because I know when something is a good deal and when something is a wedding industry “mark-up”. I suggest that the readers ask vendors questions, join an online community and post questions there to figure out if the prices they are being quoted are reasonable or unreasonable. Hire a wedding planner/coordinator if you don’t have the time. I can guarantee that even though it may be a larger cost up front, the money that you will save hiring a vendor who may give you a discount or extra perks because of the planner’s negotiation will definitely make your day amazingly beautiful with very little hassle. The only perk that being a wedding planner has afforded me is that I know the venues and vendors in the area.

BW: I know it’s early, but, have you had to deal with any wedding planning disappointments? If so, how have you managed (or overcome) such disappointments?

Brittiny: (Laughing) Just today I had a huge disappointment. Michael didn’t like the bed and breakfast venue that I loved, NOR did he like a great second option. I am very accustomed to offering clients several options and Michael expects me to offer the same to him. Unfortunately I have an idea of how I wanted My wedding to be and if I was marrying myself it would definitely work!!! Marriage is about compromise and both of us are working together to find a venue that suits us both beautifully because our marriage and wedding are about the both of us not just one of us.

BW: Are there any “traditional” wedding industry requirements you will not incorporate into your wedding (for example, matching champagne flutes for Bride & Groom)?

Brittiny: We are definitely not doing any programs. I think they are unneeded and will be tossed in the trash can. We *may* do something like a CD favor that can double as a program, because I think my mom wants one as a keepsake. We are also not doing any readers or anything else that fluffs the ceremony out. We want something short, sweet and to the point. We are also not doing a garter toss/wedding bouquet toss. Most of our friends are married and being an older bride (29 currently, 30 when married), I know what it’s like to be one of 3 people on the floor with all eyes watching, yeah, no. I don’t want that for our guests. I will give my bouquet to my mom who has been so great in the wedding planning process.

BW: What is the one “traditional” wedding item you cannot live without and will be incorporating into your wedding?

Brittiny: I am definitely having a veil (I don’t know if it will be bird cage or drop veil yet, but I definitely think there’s something so bridal about a woman getting married and the groom lifting her veil).

BW: I know you’re busy and I really appreciate you taking the time to share your wedding planning and vision with me. As a mother, a wedding planner and business owner, I am sure you have to manage your time wisely. Do you have any time management wedding planning tips for Blackweddings.com readers?

Brittiny: Research, research, research. All venues and vendors worth their weight will be able to converse with you via email and can tell you their pricing, what you should expect to spend etc. Proper research saves you a lot of empty visits to venues and vendors. Also, you can get a feel for a vendor/venue via email. Do they answer your questions promptly, are they peppy, edgy, or is everything misspelled and arrives days after you send it? As a business owner I try to answer emails immediately or at least within a few hours. I also expect the same from any vendor that I contact, which is probably a harsh standard for other vendors who are more lax than me, but hey I like what I like. I am also super type “A” anal.

I also create excel spreadsheets of everything that I have seen, want to see and like. Any time that I see a picture that I like while perusing the internet, I save it, trust me! It will save you countless hours of trying to find the “perfect” inspiration picture to show your florist, stationer, event designer, or even your mom (laughing)! I honestly think that the internet has been my best tool in the 16 or so years that weddings have been my “thing” (my mom was engaged when I was 14). The internet is a valuable tool and you have all of the haute wedding trends at your finger tips if you spend a good day or two researching them. Also remember that you don’t have to have everyone you ever met in your wedding. Keeping it small and intimate will save you time, headaches, and most importantly in this economy, money.

For more information on vendors and services detailed in this article:

• Amour Toujours Event Design and Planning, www.amourtoujoursevents.webs.com

• Calligraphy by Jennifer, www.calligraphybyjennifer.net

• Fola Adewole, www.folaadewole.com/blog

• Pnina Tornai, www.pninatornai.co.il

• Angelo Alfredo, www.alfredangelo.com

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About The Author

Danielle Shelbourne is the founder and executive designer of Sui Generis Events, a boutique event design and planning company based in Northern California. She fell in love with everything bridal 17 years ago watching her mother design flowers for weddings. Her legal background assures attention to detail in each element of her designs. Danielle also writes for the Examiner.com as the Sacramento Bridal Fashion Examiner. You can contact Danielle at sui.generis.events @gmail.com or sacbridalfashion@gmail.com.